Question of the Day: Day 18
Is there anyone in your life that you're holding a grudge against and just can't let go of?
How does it make you feel when you think about it?
How does it make you feel when you think about it?
posted by Michelle at 9:09 AM
14 Comments:
Well, I am not holding a grudge, because I still interact with this person as a friend--but at the same time, I am having a very difficult time forgiving him for being so careless with his words and my heart.
I sometimes think I have forgiven, just because we can get along together, but deep down--when I think about trusting other people--I can't. I'm not ready to. And it makes me angry at HIM.
hmmm. I dont have any grudges currently. I tend to be quite (too?) forgiving. But there is someone at school that gets a lot of insults, verbal abuse etc. He has no social skills...everything about him seems repulsive, and every so often I feel sorry for him. But as soon as i try and be nice to him, he does something so hideousely insensitive that I begin to hate him again, and leave him to be ripped apart again. i don't think its a grudge, I just try to avoid him. He doesn't seem to have any friends, mainly because he drives them away,
I am happy to report that I have no grudges against anyone. It's taken me years of therapy, meditation, discussion, and the support of excellent friends to understand that my grudges have only hurt me.
I can be friendly toward anyone, without reservation.
I only have this life, right now - and wasting it on grudges or revenge is a sickness I no longer have. And to be free of this is bliss!
I don't hold grudges - they are too sharp and pointy, and only hurt you. The learning to let go is really something that not everyone can do, but I can tell you my life is so much better for being able to do that.
There are people that have hurt me and wronged me. If I held a grudge, I'd get worked up all over again whenever I thought about what they did. Instead, I can just shrug and feel sorry for them.
I know that anger and hatred really only hurt the one who holds onto these corrosive emotions. And yet...
The man who taught senior math at my high school and who was basically a total jerk still lives in my heart of hearts as someone I hold a grudge against. I won't go into details of what he did but the important thing is I've never been able to forgive him. I know he's dead and sometimes I feel like going to his grave and doing something (but I won't because that is kinda sick).
I think that I am the poorer for not being able to get past these feelings. ...and yet... Because of the pain of this one person in my life, I have been able to have a perspective about life which makes me grateful. I can see pain in others much more clearly.
I try to be more aware and helpful towards others because my awareness of human pain and common human need and I'm richer for that.
Addendum to my post:
I have a friend who is a poet. A line he wrote, in a poem about letting go of grudges and such, is:
I know some people aren't good for me,
and that I need to learn how to love them all.
-Maurice Upthegrove
yes, that person would be my dad because he was a really bad father and the more you tell him that he is not a good dad he just gets worse then eventully he got cleaned up and now it is kool with him and his kids. For me to lose this grudge against my dad i think he would have to provide for the two remaining kids that live with him and give them a good life.
yes that well be my parents because they weren't good parents for me or my brothers and sisters, when i was 8 yaers old my mom kicked me out of the house and i had no where to go so i was in the streets and i was so scared but i learnd alot from that.It makes me feel so sad and angry at the same time i just hope that one day i could just let it go.
Nope.
Life is too short to hold a grudge.
People who have hurt me do not have that kind of power over me because I choose to NOT give it to them. Instead, I pity them and whatever it is in their lives that makes them be mean and hurtful to others. And I am thankful that I don't have to live like that.
Grudges, to me, are chains and shackles that put on ourselves and the only way to be FREE is to make the choice to let it go and move on.
I am not much into forgiveness. I work hard to treat everyone with respect. But in my heart of hearts, I remember too too much abt. how some people have hurt me and the damage they have done. In some ways this makes me feel clear because it helps me remember the standards by which I want to be treated and to do a better job getting treated right in the future. If this is a grudge, then I hold them. I don't know that is bad.
Very tough question, even though I didn't expect it to be. I have one close family member whom I don't talk to. I honestly don't know if I am unable to admit that I'm holding a grudge, or if I have just moved on and accepted that my happiness isn't dependent on the 2 of us interacting.
I guess it's something I can't truthfully answer at this time. Though, I will say that if I had a choice, I would rather have a good relationship with this person.
I need to think about this some more.
One person that I had held a grudge against was my real father because he left my mother when I was born. I grew up with out knowing him. Also I had my step father that ruined my familys life.
THe only person i held a grudge is my mom because i felt like she just left me and didn't say goodbye and she just left me in a grouphome without her.
Yes myself. I feel bad about my sister's death I blame my sister death some what on myself I said some thing to here before she was killed and I was never able to say sorry. It makes me fell made about myself. But I am trying to get over it she was my oldest sister and I was never relly nice to her but I can not change the past.
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