Question of the Day: Day 70
Why do you think that some people do very self-destructive behaviors (drugs, alcohol, violence, being mean, etc) when they are upset about something?
posted by Michelle at 10:18 AM
We are looking for answers to some hard questions as we dig deep inside and explore our own core values and how that guides not just our own lives but the very world that we live in. These questions will be asked to a group of high school students but we would also like to hear from the world at large. While we hope to keep this forum wide open we do reserve the right to delete responses that we find to be offensive or combative in nature. Thank you for participating with us.
posted by Michelle at 10:18 AM
7 Comments:
Im not sure. I am interested to see what other people say...but I will say from my own limited experience that it is a combination of a search for freedom, and to simply get away.
I think its to numb the pain of living in a world that they perceive does not understand them. Or they don't understand/feel they fit in to. This could come from any external environmental source, such as childhood trauma, peer pressure dominating thier insecurities, or internal such as body chemistry that is genetically out of wack, causing them to seek what they believe to be a rememdy to their solution.
As one of your questions earlier stated, if we lived in a world that had less of a shame based system, i believe these self destructive behaviours would be less significant. People would accept themselves for what they are in a more positive light.
I think people turn to the chemicals if they want to forget or postpone dealing with an upsetting situation. It never solves the problem and frequently makes it worse. Speaking from experience, once you choose this option just one time, you will likely choose it again even after learning that the drugs don't help.
I think people choose to be mean or violent when their level of frustration has gotten so out of control that they feel that they can no longer convince the other person to behave in a way they desire. This also is an ineffective method, but usually the decision was a rash one and before any real thought could occur, it was too late.
I think it is because they don't know better,or they think it is the only way to take the pain away. Some people think that it is the only way to get love or attention. But there are lots of ways they just need someone to show them how to.
I think that we (human beings) tend to respond to crisis situations according to the patterns of our past. If we have been calm and rational in previous situations then chances are good that we will be calm and rational in upcoming ones, too. If we have reacted badly and struck out at those around us or used drugs/alcohol then that will be familiar and likely be used again in the future.
I think that the self-destructive responses occur for a couple of reasons: They may have been modeled by important people in our lives or we may lack a larger menu of responses that include constructive coping skills because we have not yet learned them.
As I've said in previous answers, I do not believe that most people make a concerted effort to do the wrong thing or be "bad" to others. I think that they frequently just do not know a better way or don't know how to change their learned behaviors.
Cecil!
It's AWESOME to see that you have access and can keep answering the questions with us!
Don't forget to email us and keep us caught up on everything. You can send us some ideas for new questions (DeWayne has been adding some). I need all the help I can get!
{{{hug}}} <-- this cyber-hug is for you!
Ruben,
well i think da do this 2 realse some agresion or pain dat bother them. i no i do this sometimes jus cuz i think its helps but im the fighter one. im workin on it.
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