Question of the Day: Day 189
Have you ever done what you thought was a good deed and it backfired and people were upset with you? Did you still want to do good deeds for those people or did you just want to walk away and not look back? Are you likely to continue doing good deeds for people in general?
posted by Michelle at 9:56 AM
4 Comments:
I have done what I thought was a good deed & had it semi backfire... I suppose people have been upset a couple of times. It depends on the person & circumstances as to whether or not I will/would continue to do good deeds for that person / those people. Yes, I will continue to do good deeds for others in the future~ taking past experience into consideration & being all the wiser next time.
Yep, and now that I'm out of sync with my former ego driven life, it doesn't bother me. I've done "bad deeds" to help people out, and I feel the same way about that. I need to make my own choices, not worry about whether people are going to not like me becasue my choices to help aren't what they wanted from me.
"If someone offers you a gift, and you refuse that gift, who does the gift belong to?"
-Rumi
This holds just as true for what I do, whatever my intentions - if my efforts are not accepted, it doesn't mean they are wasted. And, sure, I'll still offer my help.
I sometimes advise people to take a deeeeeeep sloooooow breath, and most of the time, nobody listens - even though I know how importatnt it is. Since I know, I share that - and, as far as I'm concerned, nobody has to, or may ever decide to take this gift - I get eyes rolled at me a LOT - but, deep slow breathing is a really great help; so, I'll keep offering the advice.
I feel that way about other, more tangible forms of help, too.
When doing a good deed is looked upon as doing the right thing, most people get lost and expect something in return. Yes a THANK YOU would be nice, which is what most people expect but doing the right thing should be second nature and completed unconditionally.
When it's viewed unconditional then even if the person is unGRATEFUL you walk away knowing you did the very best you could for that circumstance.
A good deed is not undone by a negative response. It is in the giving that I feel good and while it would be unfortunate if that was not received well I would still know that I did a good thing and I would feel good about that piece of it.
I always like to do kind things for people and see no reason to deprive myself of that joy if one or two of them end up being foul balls.
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