Question of the Day: Day 186
Do you know anyone who frequently asks to borrow things and then either does not return them or brings them back damaged and does not even acknowledge it? What do you say to them the next time they want to borrow something that happens to be very important to you?
posted by Michelle at 9:14 AM
4 Comments:
My girlfriend's sister's boyfriend was one of these people who don't seem to have good boundaries so they seem to believe that everything belongs to them to do as they want. These people also seem to be very manipulative so they are good at making you feel guilty if you refuse to allow them to "borrow" things.
I began refusing to allow him to borrow anything so he started a passive-agressive campaign with his girlfriend. He got her to whine to her sister (my girlfriend) about the situation and that "Bad Samiyam won't let me borrow his tools" wail arose. So I started a new rule. I lent him one thing and told him that when he returned that one thing he could get another.
He never returned that one thing and I never loaned him another thing. Soon after that his woman finally woke up to what a sociopathic jerk he was.
Yes, I do know some people like that.
All I have to say is, "No, you may not borrow that."
Usually, I don't see them all that much, because they find someone else from whom to borrow stuff.
don't we all know someone who is irresponsible and has no respect for others things. the smart thing to do is to always say, NO!
no need for explaination, just a simple NO.
It happens all the time at work.
There are not a whole lot of things that are truly precious to me at work so I don't have a huge problem if things do not come back. It is mostly just frustrating when I want to use something and it is not readily available but I have learned to be more flexible and adapt to circumstancs so I get by.
My family doesn't act this way so I have been very lucky in that I don't have any bad experiences or hurt feelings for things not returned.
I tend to hold people as more important than just about anything else so I guess it is mostly a perspective thing.
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