Question of the Day: Day 5
How can you help a friend who is sad?
posted by Michelle at 9:06 AM
We are looking for answers to some hard questions as we dig deep inside and explore our own core values and how that guides not just our own lives but the very world that we live in. These questions will be asked to a group of high school students but we would also like to hear from the world at large. While we hope to keep this forum wide open we do reserve the right to delete responses that we find to be offensive or combative in nature. Thank you for participating with us.
16 Comments:
this one is difficult. Sometimes talking to them about their problem can help. Sometimes it can't.
I find that a great big hug is always the right answer to any sadness. It makes the person remember that someone cares about them. No matter who it comes from.
By being there, and listening, more than anything. Sometimes just the presence of a friend is enough.
I agree with the above, hugs and just being there to listen. Most times it's best not to try to solve their problems, but instead just lend an ear. Maybe reflect back what they are saying just so we both know that we are understanding each other. Knowing you are not alone is such a huge relief.
Talk little, listen much.
Some suggestions:
Dos
Bring flowers.
Play music.
Take your friend outside.
Go to places where you can be in nature.
Sing a sutra for your friend
meditate with your friend.
Tell your friend it's OK to cry, and let yourself cry, too.
Empathize.
DON'Ts
Tell your friend to cheer up.
Talk trash to get your friend angry or 'worked up.'
Get your friend stoned.
Tease your friend.
Force your friend to do anything.
Although, some or all of these things might change their mood temporarily- they don't really help heal the problem, they only help mask the symptoms.
Listening and empathy is they key.
one way to help a friend that is sad is to respect their space.Another way is to give them a hug.
Basically: Just be there and listen.
Give your friend the feeling that she/he is not alone.
Sometimes repeat in your own words what your friend told you to show that you are really listening.
Don't be afraid of moments of silence. It's ok not to talk.
If you are male and your friend is female: I'm serious! Shut up and listen carefully! ;-)
If your friend is very sad for a longer time, probably professional help is needed.
The way I figger, it all depends on the person. So help out the specificly sad how they want to helped.
I think letting the person know that you are there for them and are willing to listen to them is a really good way to help show that you are there for them. To tell them how much you care and appreciate them will always make them feel better. Or to be able to give them a shoulder to cry is always good to.
Sometimes though there are people that need there space and rather be alone then have someone be there. I know because at times I can be like that.
I know that when a friend is sad and not saying anything about it, I quietly send them good thoughts and energy.
Sometimes I ask, and if they choose to share how they're feeling, I listen. Sometimes listening is all a person needs, and not for you to slap a band aid on it and move them quickly through their feelings.
I try to be a safe and trusting person for them to have their feelings with and cry, if necessary.
If they do ask for my own experience, strength and hope about their particular issue--I usually offer it with compassion.
(Your teacher is a pro at compassion, honored students! I should know!) :wink:
Listen first and never interrupt what a person is trying to tell you. You don't have to understand what is going on. Sometimes you are needed just to be an ear for them.
and I also agree with what Mel said: A big sincere hug.
Wow, so many great answers here.
When we talked about this yesterday morning I had shared that I think being aware of the sadness is important and that I (as the kids ALL know) frequently use physical contact (a hug, a hand on the shoulder, a hand squeeze) to let my friends know that I am here, in the moment, and available to whatever they need from me.
As many of already said, sometimes just being quiet is the best thing that one can do to be supportive and that really is my main goal - to support my friend - in the manner that he/she needs most.
Classroom # 7
North Valley School.
Here are our sloutions:
* Be protective
* Humor
* Be a loyal friend
* Be encouraging
* Talk to them
* Give him or her positives
* Let them vent
* Do not force them to talk
* If they need something that
will help them if you can
give it to him orher
* If they need help give it to
them
* Be on his or her side
The way to help a friend who is sad is to do things that make them happy. When people are sad they need someone to help them up, and the way to this is by being happy and not let their emotions get you feeling sad or if they do, don't let them see it.
The way I would help out a friend who is sad is comforting them, talking to them and haveing them do something that they like to do.
i believe that if someone i know is sad i would try to help them by trying to make thim smile or do something to let them know i got there back no matter what.
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