Question of the Day: Day 1
Is anger something that "happens" to you that you can't control or do you think that being angry is a choice that we can all make or not make and to what degree do YOU take responsibility for the things that you do while you are angry?
posted by Michelle at 2:50 PM
21 Comments:
I think that anger is definitely a choice that we make. I don't, however, think that the things that we do while angry are always negative (though they certainly have the potential to be). I believe that anger can fuel the momentum for positive change in our lives if we choose to channel that energy.
I try very hard to take responsibility for my choices and behaviors including those when I have been angry. I have had to make amends to people for things that I have said in anger but I have also grown as a human being. I do not like to cause pain to others so I work very hard to make good choices and to be the kind of person that I know I can be.
All emotions begin with a thought. There can be no feeling without the thought which brought it to your mind. We feel what we think.
Most times a thought is only a thought and we CAN help it if we get emotional.
This is not to say that being emotional is wrong, sometimes being emotional is very appropriate (good to be happy at a birthday party) but whenever we are feeling something strongly and it is causing us to act out of place with others, we need to stop and ask ourselves "what is the thought which brought up this anger (or sadness)?" Then we can see what we are believing which is causing us to be out of step with others.
These beliefs may be wrong. We can change what we believe about life, the world, other people, ourselves. When we look at these other beliefs, we might find we like them more.
We are free to be happy if we want to be.
When I say that I can't control my anger, I am consciously aware that I am lying. Proof? I encounter similar incidents but react differently depending on my "mood", which is nothing but an excuse so I can escape responsibility for my actions.
I have learned that I can't control other people but I can control my emotions. Therefore, I strive to react positively regardless whether the person I'm interacting with is angry or nice. As a friend once shared with me, a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
I think being angry is a state of mind. Everything you do and say is your own responsibility. Ultimately it's your dicision to control your anger. When I have gotten angry in the past, I try to take full responsibility for what I've done.
Being angry is something that you choose to be. I have had to learn that in my long but short year's on earth. I have been angery so many times I used to say that someone got me angery and sometimes still do. But the truth is I choose to be anger and choose to get mad. But I have learned that people may say things or do things I do not like but I am responsible for my own action and the choose I make is my own and no one elase. So therefor I am in control of what I say and do even if people say or do things I don't like. So YES I DO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR MY ANGER.
Anger is a response to fear - if I find myself angry, and take time to figure out what it is I'm afraid of, the anger goes away.
To keep ourselves under control while being angry and to reflect about our own behaviour in this situation, are social skills we need to learn.
The younger we learn that, the better it is.
Anger "happens" to me when something upsets me. I rarely react when I am angry; it's like a "flare-up," and then I calm down and take action if necessary.
A lot of times I discuss my anger with a friend. That helps to diffuse it.
I wrote a bunch of other stuff, but realized that in essence, I often equate anger with hurt. I get hurt more than I get angry. I get angry sometimes when I get hurt.
I don't think anger is a choice at first. Continuing to be angry after the moment passes is, however.
Once, in the heat of the moment, I was so angry that I threw a metal bowl on the floor. I didn't know how to express my feelings in another way besides screaming and crying (because, deep down, I was very hurt). I dented that bowl. And now, every time I see the dent, I remember that moment and all the ugliness surrounding it. It's been a few years since that incident, and I am reaching the point where I am ready to get a rubber mallet and pound the dent out. I was responsible for damaging something, and it's time to fix it, because it is in my power to do so.
It's also my way of letting go. At some point, you have to let things go. It gets easier for me as I get older.
Anger IS a choice; though one often made in haste.
As individuals, we are always 100% responsible for our actions, regardless of emotion.
I think that how we react to certain things or situations is something we already have decided, at least subconciously. Then when something actually does "trigger" an angry response from us, it just seems like it had happened, as opposed to us actively choosing to be angry.
Anger is not necessaily a bad thing. Certainly, I think it is an honest feeling or response. Anger can become a problem, though, when we act on it, either through actions or words. Because of this belief, I try to step outside of the moment and see if my gut reaction is going to help or hurt the situation. Most times, I feel it would only make matters worse, so I try to calm down and then fix the problem.
Sometimes, I feel I just have to act on my gut feeling and I honestly don't feel bad about my actions, just the situation. An example is when I see someone picking on another. I don't like bullies, so when I see it I get angry and want to put a stop to the offensive behavior. The vast majority of the time I can do this with just words. I realize others might think I just added to the problem, but I believe I have to act in situations like these.
I think being angry is a choice because it takes energy to put out
negativity.
Anger comes primarily from Stress, if we can avoid stress then generally we will avoid anger.
Mr Angry , England.
It's not always a choice to be angry or not. I get angry alot but I don't choose to be angry it's just something that happens at the time. Although I am the one who can choose to put it behind me or not. This morning I was really angry about what had happened at my house but it was my choice not to have it blowen out of porportion. Most of the things that make me angry are usualy my fault. So it things that I have to work onand have to face up to.For my its hard to face up to my mistakes and problems.
you cant control if you you get angry, but you can control what you do when you do get angry
RICK B.
I believe that Anger is an emotion that is brought on by a moral or an issue that we are being asked to compromise. How we respond to that issue will determine what type of stanards we live by. Violent responses to anger show we really don't respect the rights , thoughts or concerns of others, but instead are "I" people. Everything had better revolve around them.Persons who take time to talk out their anger with those they are mad at, (after they have cooled down,)are more likely to be the successful ones, not only in relationships but also in life!
I didn't always know that anger was an emotion that you could control. I learned it through education. I can choose to control all my emotions, not just anger. If I always put myself in check before I respond, then I save myself alot of grief. I am in no way perfect and sometimes cause myself grief. I am always responsible for how I respond but I am not responsible for others actions and others emotions for as much as I can control my emotions and actions, so can others.
It is not what happens to you but how you think about what happens to you that determines how you feel and react it is the world inside you that creates the conditions of your life. - Brian Tracy
So everything you do is a reaction of what you think and you can control the circumstances within and either let it bother you to rage or not let it bother and choose to write it down or think of the good outcomes of the situation.
I think that anger is a choice. You have control over your actions. What you do when you are angry is ALL of your responsibility. You have a choice as to whether you let what other people do anger you.
For me and my bipolar disorder it all depends on the day, my personal aditude, and my meds of the day. There are times were I can choose to be angry and there are other times were I can not controle my anger at all.I try to take responsabilaty for my anger as much as I can, I even take anger manegment classes to help me. It is rare wene I have no controle over my anger, there for I usually dont have very many problems.
I think anger happens when you let it happen . I ignore but when it gets too much for me I get angery
Right now anger is hiding behind every corner waiting for us(the inosent bystander) to cross his path. Then once we do, he apears out into the opened to try and catch us. To see if we can fall into his trap. There are many of us who chooses not to fight the battle and escape from his blade like claws. For the ones that do will always be able to brake free. Anger is a battle that many of us chooses to not fight. Its hard not to be tide up inside it. But you can always choose to relief yourself from it.
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